I'm in the process of reading a book titled Acting for the Camera by Tony Barr in order to hopefully increase my ability and knowledge on the subject in some ways for the next project I'll be involved with. It has been quite interesting, although there has not been a whole lot of new information as of yet (some great reminders). Below is a quote I read in the wee hours this morning while sitting at Rococo Cafe in Kirkland, and it hit me particularly hard.
"Since the free expression of emotion is generally taboo in our culture, by the time we are young adults we have successfully locked our emotional instruments so that they are not responsive to stimuli. From the time we are little children, we are told "don't yell, don't cry, be a good boy, be a good girl," to the point where we begin to feel that it is wrong to cry or to get angry or - and this is the most tragic thing of all - to experience pure extravagant joy. We are so burdened with guilt for giving expression to the impulses we were born with that we very carefully padlock them in some deep corner and throw away the key."
The above paragraph just strikes me as so terribly sad. Why is it not okay to experience life to the full extent of emotions? I think I wasn't told these "don't" phrases very often as a child, and thus I've nearly always been able to tap my emotions quickly. Or maybe I was, and I ignored it. I even cry from particularly well done commercials sometimes. For this same reason, I don't like watching movie's in which the entire point is to watch people die. I get too attached to people, and my emotions (positive and negative) are like a flood - difficult to stop once they begin. This has become an asset as an actor, and maybe this is why I was drawn to acting. I could see that actors are not limited in their ability to express emotion, and are actually encouraged to examine themselves and flesh out their feelings.
I'm not a robot, and I refuse to limit my experiences to only the acceptable reactions in society. I do sincerely hope that some day, if you have children, you will avoid telling them not to cry when something is truly devastating, or to limit their joy when they experience something worth rejoicing.
I understand that we shouldn't let emotion control our actions (we have a brain for a reason), and that strong emotions should subside over short, or long periods of time, but experiencing strong emotion is a part of being human. Is it not?
Were you told "don't feel" by parents, teachers, or relatives? Is it now difficult for you to really cry/laugh/feel joy/get righteously angry? Why do you think we stifle emotion? Is it right or wrong?
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A Little Info
- Jenni
- Woodinville, Washington, United States
- I am passionate about Jesus, life, theatre, love, my family and friends. This is just my place to update friends and/or family about my life.
4 comments:
I definitely connect to this statement. I grew up in a family that just didn't share or show strong emotions and had always lived as if everything was going fine. As a young adult I had to learn how to connect to others emotionally which was extrememly difficult, but also necessary in order to form real bonds and relationships. It was probably the biggest hurdle I had in my college dating experience. I suddenly realized I needed to tap into my emotions and let them out or I would never have a real relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. Luckily I realized this in time and had a wonderful and patient boyfriend to help me through it. I think it's important for people to understand their emotions and be able to express them in socially and professionally beneficial ways. I think you need to find a healthy balance between stiffled emotions and letting it all hang out. Some people live to the opposite extreme so that they are always having some emotional meltdown This often makes others force their emotions down in order to accomodate the out-of-control emotions. I sincerely believe that balance is the key.
Good thoughts, Marf. I can see how that must've been really difficult to overcome, and I'm glad you have!
Also, I agree, balance is definitely key here. I cannot deal with people who meltdown every five seconds. Too much drama (not the good kind)! I tend to be more on the emotional side of the pendulum, and do often have to check myself to make sure it's justified emotion.
Life usually is a balancing act, isn't it? :) Thanks for the comment!
I really don't like drawing negative attention to myself, so I stifle my personal emotions in public. I'm not afraid to cry in a movie theatre, but I generally don't let people know if they hurt my feelings. I guess this is just me trying to not to be a drama queen. However, I do show this type of emotion with my family, my siblings, my parents, and my boyfriend. I think I'm just reserved when it comes to my own feelings and other people. I don't know if this is good or bad. It's not just emotion, but I try desperately NOT to have others' actions affect my emotional well-being; you can't control other people. Sometimes they're jerks and that shouldn't ruin your day. I don't think I'm a robot, but there are certain types of emotion I'm okay with showing and certain types that I'm not.
Good note, Jenni! Miss you!
Nikolina, thanks for the thoughts, and good points. I agree, public vs. not public has a lot to do with it for me as well in certain instances. Miss you too!
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